Every Time
by Ardespuffy
Summary: Your eyes are as cold as the ice you make up with your hands, but you can't fool me. Not me. [Hyoga x Shun Crystal x Andromeda, Shun's POV]


**Title**: Everytime

**Author**: Ardespuffy

**Disclaimer**: alright, I have to admit it. Saint Seiya is not mine. Not at all. Besides, if it was, I'd have put up Hyoga and Shun together since the very first episode, so I wouldn't be here by now, filling Word pages as a possessed fangirl…

**Disclaimer 2**: the song is "Everytime" by Britney Sperars. Funny thing, since I've always hated her. But the lyrics just fit too well with Andromeda-chan's thoughts!

**Pairing**: in case it wasn't clear by now, Shun/Hyoga (Andromeda/Crystal), Shun's POV

**Rating**: K (what a good baby!)

**Subject**: the Saint life is made of danger. Shun does know this. But how's he supposed to deal with Hyoga leaving for a mission without a certain comeback?

**Timeline**: somewhere between the end of the first and the beginning of the second season

**Genre**: introspective, song-fic

**Warnings**: one-shot, shonen-ai (very slight, though)

"Tell the truth… you think I'm a total foolish, don't you?"

Your answer is straight and moderate, as it was expected to be: "Yes."

I clench my fists. I hate all of this. Hate your high-and-mighty look, the arrogance you turn your back with, 'cause I'm not even worth your eyed. I can't stand feeling so small.

You make me feel so small?

_**I**__** feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby…**_

I'd like to tilt at you, now. I'd like to reply the way you deserve me to punish your incommensurable ego, I'd like to wash my helplessness over you as a burning fire of rage. I'd like to scream that at least I don't hide my feelings, I live them all the way, through the tears, through the blood. Dislike that mask of pragmatism you always wear on.

But I already know that I won't.

I could never. Because I'd hurt you, hurt you for real, and there's no way I would. We may yell anything during our frantic arguments, but we never bruise each other. Well, _I_ don't. You strike right my heart, with your icy spikes that turn off the fire of my enthusiasm and cool down every visceral passion.

Though I don't take it hard. I never take it hard. I just need to know you care enough to keep on confronting with me, in this oblivion of burning eyes. For one who thinks of himself as far from everyone, it's not something to underestimate.

…_**Notice me  
Take my hand…**_

What I got left, then, except getting to fend?

"I can be a little naive, but this doesn't allow you to treat me like I matter nothing. I h-have… emotions, a-and…"

My voice is broken now, the words undone. The self-confidence I've had hardly gained stumbles, but I've got my excuse.

Because you have just turned.

I stand pondering over how you can look strong even without your armour on. Even with this simple white shirt, with these straight-shaped pants. Even this way you're endlessly higher than me, and it's not easy to stand.

I don't finish the sentence, but it's your voice that does it for me: "You get treated as you deserve to", you say, more bitter than usual.

I stare as your lips shut tight. Your eyes are distant, but your mouth always speaks in their place. I know what I'm saying. Have spent days long watching it, caught up in between the physical craving of possession and the ecstatic will to understand its language.

…_**And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, it's haunting me…**_

By now I can tell you're nervous. Your eyes are as cold as the ice you make up with your hands, but you can't fool me. Not me.

I know you better, Cygnus.

That's why I can't let you go.

Gulp hard: "I don't deserve this! Don't deserve you to poke fun on me!"

Clench my teeth: "I know pretty well it's a dangerous mission. You can't make it by yourself! I won't let you!"

See you darkening. Visibly: "That's not your choice. That's not even _mine_. That's destiny, and it just can't be changed" you comment softly, with the cold you'd use for talking of another person.

…_**Why are we  
Strangers when…**_

That's this disillusion of yours that makes me mad.

I grit my fists, and before I could even notice my frustration has broken over. My trusty chain slips down my arms, to the hands, then leans toward your brawny arm.

Catching you.

I feel nails dig deeply into my palms, whilst the iron rings, as a reply, tighten the grab in a way that, I'd bet on it, nearly hurts.

But it wouldn't be you if you let this show.

I chin up and stare right at your eyes, almost hoping to set a fleeting parity: "Don't you prattle! We are responsible of our own fate. Look at me! Remember when destiny chose the destinations for us to be taught how to become Saints? I got the Death Queen Island, but Pheonix jumped in and took my place. But for his care, who knows where would I be by now!?"

I enjoy a deep breath, before going on softer: "My brother's love changed my destiny, and now my love will change yours" I quit, putting all the eagerness I can in what ends up to be a weak whisper.

Your expression hardens. Your eyes shine like an even cooler ice, escaping mine to finally settle on the chain that holds you up: "Let go of me" you slightly threat, confident, and I don't know if you're meaning my weapon or my desperate perseverance.

In any case, I'm not going to give up

I tighten my grip in answer: "Hyoga" I softly call, using the name I choose in moments like this. When you throw your mask an let me see the warmth behind. When this tie of us widens and surrounds, keeping all the rest away.

_**…Our love is strong  
Why carry on without me?**_

"Please, listen" I quietly add, not minding to let my pride go and _beg _you. "You're important to me. I won't let you deal alone with something you're not up to. You're not worth the situation, can't just…"

But a sudden noise abruptly stops me. The noise of something breaking up.

That's your wax mask crushing, along with the rings of my chain.

I stand here staring helpless as the metal coils fall on the floor. A tiny side of my mind can't wash away the amazement. You don't even wear your armour, though you beat my weapon only with the strength of your fingers.

But obviously I forgot you're Cygnus Crystal, ice master, brave soldier in the name of Athena.

And the anger that's upsetting now only strengthens you.

"I _can_. An I will. Who's ever telling me what to do is yet to born."

Your voice is quiet, despite the eager vibes that shake a bit the surface. I know you're trying hard to keep control. Not for my benefit, mind you. I'm not naive enough to hope so.

It's just that you can't lose your face, ever. Neither when I'd throw it all apart to hold you here. With me, in this moment. Where I can pretend to protect you. Even if you don't need it, _especially_ 'cause you don't need it

I feel again the ice, that damned ice on my hands, in my arms, on the chrome of my armour. It's funny, you know? I should have been your knight in shining breastplate, like the charming ones; and I happened to have all the requisites. But you ended up carrying me out of that temple, while I lied as a senseless statue in your arms.

Paradoxical.

Though…

It doesn't matter how it ended then, Crystal. I don't want it to happen again.

As pictures of your inert body in that freezing coffin flash through my brain, I feel the eyes burning up in a ever-so-familiar sensation. A sharp warmth surrounds my orbs, as the sight gets blurring and the hands start shaking.

…_**Everytime I try to fly  
I fall without my wings…**_

I close tight my eyelids, trying to avoid the waterfall that's threatening to stream, yet miserably failing. Your face is just a faint stain, as hot tears start slipping down my cheeks. A feeling of liberation enwraps me, though along with the sensation of having lost.

One more time.

_You silly __cry-baby_.

Ikki's voice sounds through my ears.

I can nearly feel your mighty and bothered eyed, your exasperation in front of my weakness. I can't stand it, and bow my head.

…_**Please forgive me  
My weakness caused you pain…**_

My shoulders are trembling, shaken by hiccups, as I lose control over my tears. Frantically clench my fists, staring at the blurry white of the floor. I wish I was stronger, Hyoga, trust me. I wish I had your balance, Seiya's stoicism, Shiryu's braveness. My brother's power. I'd give my soul to get a hint of your strength, but unfortunately I can't. This is just me, Andromeda, the everlasting child. The one everybody poked fun on because of his morbid sensitiveness, the one nobody has ever believed in. Even Ikki, who has always protected me, never thought I was worth enough for the Saint life.

This idea does nothing but break me down. I can barely feel, through this fog of senses, little salted teardrops slipping down my chin and neck, finally fading over my impenetrable armour.

It doesn't take this much to crush me. And it scares me to no end.

…_**I feel so small…**_

But it's not time to pretend. Never with you. Neither if I was able to.

I'm aware that nothing will change, but you do know me. At least I have to try.

That's with this spirit that I suddenly rise my head again. Without any freak strength-like posturing, though. Hell, I'm crying like a little girl; who would I ever fool?

But there's still a force burning inside me.

I come to mirror in your eyes, before breaking it all out.

"Don't leave. Please."

…_**I guess I need you, baby…**_

I'm not expecting any answer. Or even, that's what I keep on telling myself, as an endless mantra in my head, while I stare harmful at the blank of your face.

For Heaven's sake, look at you. All of this coolness, all of this self-control… where did this lead you?

That's for sure they're killing me.

…_**At night I pray  
t**__**hat soon your face  
will fade away…**_

Just one detail, now.

Ikki was right.

I may be frail, but I don't give in.

I sniff and hold on to your eyed, burning for the willing to blow away the apathy it shows.

"I mean this, Hyoga… I'm begging you!"

Tears that are so not gonna fade.

"At least… do it for me!"

That's a weak point, as lame as my illusions. I figure it out at once, under your look that's turning from cold to cranky.

I can't ask you to understand. I can't ask you to feel the same as I do. I can't ask you to give up your pride, even if it hurts to see that it matters more than I do.

Maybe, in the end, I can't change your destiny.

…_**What have I done?  
You seem to move on easy…**_

The burden of your eyed's unbearable. I bow my head once again, utterly attracted by my own shadow. Everything, now, to slip from your eyes.

That shouldn't be like this. That's not fair it gets like this. If only I could come with you, if only I could stand by your side and protect you until the end. Until the End. I've always believed this was my fate, my only gift. Give my life for people I care about.

Let me give you my life, Crystal.

But all at once a thought crosses my mind: you may not want it, this life of mine. You wouldn't know what to do with it. I'm too miserable to be worth it.

"Shun…"

…_**I may have made it rain  
Please forgive me…**_

Your voice, soft and strong, stands out and prevails on my hiccups. The surprise takes my breath away, and I instinctively rise my head.

I can barely believe it, but there's a tiny smile lingering on your lips.

"Stop crying."

I swallow, my eyes locked with yours. A faint heat warms my cheeks, as I notice that, hell, you look like an angel. The touch of your fingers is as soft as a cloud, as a breath of air, yet imprints my wet features with fire.

You dry my cheeks with your hands, and I can't help but shiver at the feeling of the hot fingertips that graze me.

Once again I choose to get lost in your eyes. Why are you doing this, Hyoga? Why are you doing this to me?

…_**Everytime I try to fly…**_

Before I can even notice, your caress is over. You look at me one last time, but your expression is harsh again.

A weight seems to crash right down on my stomach with the intensity of a stone.

…_**I fall…**_

I freeze, glued to the ground, as you overcome me in a white flash and get to the threshold. The moment I turn, you're already gone.

Gone away, away from me.

I won't let you.

…_**Without my wings…**_

I force my body to run, flash like wind, as I open the door you've just closed behind you and show up in the hall, ready to climb down the stairs to get you, wherever you are.

But there's no need to.

You're still here.

…_**I feel so small… **_

Here we are again, face to face. To the real epilogue.

Or maybe, to a brand new prologue.

"Where do you think you're going?!" I hysterically exhale. You can't leave me this way, Hyoga. You can't just leave me at all.

You turn around to let me drown in your eyes: "I should've known it wouldn't have been this easy" you quietly muttered, as if speaking to yourself.

Something harsh in your tone stings my heart.

"This is all a game to you, isn't this?? Some sort of challenge?" I howl, spasmodically clenching my fists, just like everytime pain threats to overwhelm me.

But your react takes me aback.

You narrow your eyes, and through the sky-blue slits I get the first, true glimpse of emotion. The first one in a very long while.

I feel so lame, now, for not having acknowledged this earlier. The warmth in your eyes, that warmth you always try to hide, afraid of looking weak… is all for me.

"No" that's your whispered reply.

I stand here mute, silently touched by the angst in your voice.

You're the one who gets close, now. Cover-up the distance between us, and one endless moment later I'm your arms.

…_**I guess I need you, baby… **_

I never wanted to get rid of my armour as I want it now, get rid of this cold metal shell that keeps me from totally enjoying your warmth. But the moment your head lays into my neck, finally letting me inhale your scent, all the rest fades out, meaningless and worthless. You're here, your arms wrapped around my hips, your blonde hair grazes my lips.

This is all that matters.

Time elapses, ages and seconds run at the same speed. I want to drown in you, Hyoga. I want this more than ever. Your heat, your scent. I need nothing else to survive.

The icy blames that hit me, abruptly waking me up from my dreaming oblivion, suggest that the touch is over. You're still close, closer than ever, yet it's not enough. I'm dying to graze your face just one more time, but my puzzled mind blocks every move.

I can do nothing but stand still, helpless, as the amazing gift of your smile revolves all around my visual field.

"Stop crying, Shun. I want to find a man when I'm back."

And shining rays of hope irradiate my world.

Because I know.

Because I know that, yes Hyoga, you'll be back.

Because, yes, I'll do anything to be the man you await.

Because, yes, I'll do anything to be the man you want.

Because, yes, I'll do anything to be the man you love.

Yes, Hyoga, I will. I'll be this. I can be this for you. I can throw the whole world apart for you.

The strength you give me with just one look… is the reason for all that 'thanks' I never said.

But one day I will.

'Cause one day will come.

That day will come.

'Cause you'll get back to me, and this is all.

You've said it, so you'll do it.

You always keep your word.

No more tears, not now. Something sweet and soft spreads over my heart, something tender and creamy like a cloud of purity and kindness. The hope, _no_, the confidence. An acknowledgement, the acknowledgement I needed.

A smile separates us, one real, true, sincere to both of us.

… '_**Cause everytime I try to fly…**_

I stand on the threshold, my arms frantically waving. I stand 'til the end, 'til your silhouette fades over the horizon, high and proud as only Cygnus Crystal's can be.

I stand 'cause that's the way you want to see me, and that's the way you'll find me when you're back.

At our epilogue, at our prologue, in an endless square.

It's always been this way between us, and always will be.

Because everytime I try to fly…

…_**I guess I need you, baby.**_

… all I need is you.

**Fin. **


End file.
